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On the Voice in My Head and Grinning Like a Stupid Idiot on the Treadmill

Running (via auburnxc)

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So, maybe this is the moment that I have finally truly lost it in my recent saga of trying running for the first time ever, but at the moment that I came up out of the subway in lower Manhattan this morning and got hit in the face with sunshine, I heard a voice in my head that said "RUN."  Not a zombie movie style voice, like AAAAAH!!!!  RUN!!!!!  HERE COMES JASON!!!!!-- just a plain old voice that said "RUN.  GO RUN.  WHY AREN'T YOU RUNNING? RUN.  NOW.  GO RUN."

Ignoring for the moment the possibility that I had finally descended into some kind of complete psychosis, I passed by Equinox and went to work instead.  However, the voice would not shut up.  From the moment I sat down at my desk, it only got louder.  "RUN.  WHY AREN'T YOU RUNNING?  YOU SHOULD BE RUNNING RIGHT NOW.  GET YOUR STUFF AND GO RUN.  WHY AREN'T YOU RUNNING???!!!! RUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!  GO.  NOW.  AND RUN.  NOW.  GO.  RUN!"  You get the picture.  Said voice elevated itself to a level of total harassment until there was no way I could concentrate on anything whatsoever.  It's kind of a nice voice, though, so I didn't really complain, but by 11:00 a.m. there was no hope whatsoever of shutting it up, so I finally listened to it and snuck out of the office and down to Equinox and onto the treadmill.

And as soon as I started running, the voice changed it's tone.  It said: "Run.  All you have to do is run.  That is all.  Nothing else.  Just run.  Right now, just run.  Just run."  It was so lovely, and so gorgeous, and by literally two minutes into the run I was grinning like a stupid idiot.  This guy across the gym from me was on the chest press machine looking at me like I belonged in the looney bin, but I did not care.  I was plugged into my iPod, cruising along to new music, thinking about my husband, and the beautiful weather, and how good it feels to be in my body right now, and I was so, so, so happy.  I just started cruising along, and covered up the timer with a towel, and by the time I looked at again I was already 23 minutes in.

And so I took it up a notch, decided to try some intervals, and went hard.   Like really hard.  I did three and a half sets of one minute intervals at the eight minute mile mark, alternating with a 9.5 minute mile for another minute, and it rocked.  That got me to somewhere around thirty one minutes, at which point I debated calling it a day.

But when I slowed down to a walk, there was that little voice again, telling me I wasn't done yet.  So I cranked the treadmill back up and kept running until my face was beet red and my body felt ridiculously awesome.

All in all, I clocked 45 minutes on the treadmill, 40 running, five walking, plus 100 situps and about ten minutes stretching afterwards.

And now, post-lunch, I have a clear head, beautiful, beautiful silence inside it, a smile on my face, and I'm settling down to work hard for the rest of today.  What a fantastic, fantastic day.  I'm ecstatic.