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Bringing the sexy back to pinata's

Turns out I am one sexy bitch.

First I have to tell you, I can’t believe I did this and that I also can’t believe I am posting these for public view… but hell, you only live once right?

Secondly, I need to put some thanks out there first and foremost because this could not have come together in a week if it weren’t for vonhottie introducing me to the lovely Sophie at Shameless Photography (www.shamelessphoto.com). Sophie is an amazing woman who sure knows how to make you feel comfortable in contorted positions. She did an incredible job from image consultation, to makeup and hair, to the end all be all of amazing photos. I highly recommend all women visit Sophie for a lovely photo shoot someday- it will change your life.

Thirdly, thank you to all of the supportive and lovely people in my life who didn’t laugh at me (like my Brother) or call me Narcissistic (like my Mother- don’t worry, she’s over it now after we had a long talk about how Law and Order is not reality).

So, here it is- my body love feat.

As you may have read, I acquired strep somewhere on the road to self-love. No worries, this wasn’t going to stop me. After spending my lunch at the doctors office Friday afternoon and learning of said strep, I took the rest of the day off. This meant going to Macy’s for a shop and return spree where I picked up two pairs of hot as hell shoes and a replacement garter belt (see at this point in time I thought the garter belt I had ordered from Fredrick’s of Hollywood wasn’t going to make it to my office. Yeah, I am that girl who orders lingerie to her office- or at least I am now). While trying on the shoes the very uninterested sales woman suddenly gasped as I put on the pink sequined pointy Guess shoes. “Damn girl, you have to buy those, your calves look like they could kill someone.” Now that I see the pictures, I am pretty sure she was right.

An hour or so later I was haggard and wishing I could swallow fully, so I hopped on the train to Brooklyn. Once home I remembered all the suggestions from my lovely friends in prep for this shoot “Make sure you stretch,” “Go prepared with a sexy playlist.” “Get some whiskey for your coffee or have a bloody mary before you leave.” “Shave.”

Basically, I did all but the whiskey as I figured the delirium of sickness would help me relax. But first, I started on the playlist which really turned into me going through CD’s from college days and pulling out all the break up or heart break albums, thinking it might be powerful to squash those sad emotions with the empowerment of a pin up photoshoot, and well it kinda worked. I ended up just laughing. I think what I am realizing is that I spent most of my life up until recently taking myself so damn serious and bands like Idlewild, Sunset Rubdown, Jets to Brazil, and Azure Ray only fueled it. (Note: I was not laughing at these bands, as I find them brilliant- I was laughing at the emotions they resurfaced the night before I was about to get into a purple corset I purchased from a 300 pound Jewish man who reminded me of a Fiddler on the Roof character minus the blue tooth when he commanded me to take off my coat and spin around in the creepy East Village shop that was anything but sexy.) I think this was the moment where I started realizing “My, how I’ve grown.”

So I headed to bed early and woke up for Naked Sun Salutations. Yeah, that’s right. How else do you anticipate me getting ready to be posing all crazy in a corset?

Once I got to Sophie’s we started looking at a myriad of pin up poses and hairstyles. This consultation was great fun where we were getting to know one another and I was telling her stories of what brought me here. This is also when I realized how frequently people have offered up their impressions of my body and how frequently I just take them for face value. This, however, changed as soon as I saw my dolled up self in a scandalous pose with my familiar smile.

I think I have spent so much of my life distancing who I am as a loving, caring, intelligent, crafty and humorous person from my body. It may have been because I took to heart too many of the things that were said to me about my physical appearance, and not been given the proper validation that made me confident enough to tell those emotions to fuck off.

Saturday afternoon was the validation I’ve needed for many years.

So, for those of you who have felt that I was physically inadequate in one-way shape or form, felt the need to come up with new adjectives for fat in my presence or in reference to me, and/or went for the size 2 in the room instead of chatting up my voluptuous intelligence, you are beautiful the way you are. And so am I.

But- I am much much sexier :)