Mr. Mohawk
HELLO
Mr. Mohawk
I read Harry Potter.
Brooklyn
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Feats Completed
- Social Workout Challenge: New Years Edition:
- Home Workout
- Take A Bath
- Pimp Your Bed
- D.I.Y. Feat
- The One Thousands
- Sleep Log
- Go Fish
- Locavore
- Jan Plan Plus
- Home Food
See all feats for Social Workout Challenge: New Years Edition- Emergency Holiday Challenge:
- Unspike the Punch
- Historic Dancing
- Box on Boxing Day
- Family Oriented
- Sweat Sacred
- Stocking Stuffer
- Spread the Word
- Walking on Christmas
- Naughty Flogging
- Divine Singing
- See all feats for Emergency Holiday Challenge
- Eat. Sweat. Blog.:
- Flog
- See all feats for Eat. Sweat. Blog.
- Other Feats:
- Hula Hoop
- Cartwheel
- A Day of Silence
- Alt.Healthy.Fast
- Spot Turn
- Moonwalk
- Bench Your Weight
- Juggle
- Sing
- Plank Personal
- Wheel Pose
- Underwater Swim
- 2009 Feats of Summer 50 Workout Challenge
- Commuting Meditation
- Group Fitness Class Sampler
- Chinups
- Handstand by 20
- Situps
- Pushups
- Free Throws
- See all feats
Poet Laureate
Down With Moobs
At Rehoboth beach this weekend, I had the chance to soak up some sun, crack open a couple of crab legs, rediscover the intestinal destruction that is butter dipping sauce, and skip in the sand like I was mentally-channeling/chasing a bikini-clad, beach-going Dorothy. Unfortunately, the ratio of varicose-mapped bodies and jiggly puffs to “fun and fits” was about 17 to 1. (Yes, I counted. C’mon Amurrica!) The WORST, though, was this one fairly normally looking bloke chilling beneath an umbrella, who stood up suddenly and had moobs dangling so low they grazed his waistline, like well-used udders brushing the grass.
Poet Laureate
Plastic Surgery is Good for Your Esteem
In a world where Heidi Montag can get sick of her ballooned G cup while worrying the rumored sex tape of her might feature her pre-under-the-knife body, or where Jennifer Anniston isn’t the cover girl you think she is (or is she?) it comes as no surprise that the New York Times can report that cosmetic surgery boosts your self esteem. I guess the surprise comes when you realize the article is about an eighteen-year-old girl Kristen who got boobs for a graduation gift.
Poet Laureate
Can Women Coach Football?
If you don't know, Natalie Randolph is the football coach at Coolidge High School in D.C. Just days before practice started, her start quarterback transferred to Coolidge's rival Dunbar High School, with little or no explanation--his parents graduated from there, so what?-- and thus heaps of media attention and suspicion.
Now, I know this is a very "power-woman" friendly site, and I suspect I'm counted among the "you go girl" populace. But just the idea of Natalie Randolph and her position made me think--screw the quarterback transfer article--so I'm going to throw this question out there, and see who bites.
Add This to the Discrimination List...
Well, I was reading up on the crazy Jet Blue attendent,who had his head SLAMMED by an overhead-bin-wielding customer standing up before the plane reached the gate.
Early Bloomers Are Skanks
At least, I think that's what this yahoo comment-fodder article is suggesting. The quote: "Girls who hit puberty earlier are more likely to engage in risky behavior..." goes unexplained throughout the entire article.
Blessed Be the Fluggers
Yesterday, as I was skimming the front page, I discovered this rather jarring chart that more or less advertises the average number of minutes bloggers for the site work out daily... at least since July 27th or something. The lowest hovers around 30 minutes, the highest a solid 5 hours daily, which means the median is somewhere around 2 hours and 45 minutes a day. For ten days straight.
Mohawk Update
Hi everyone. As some of you might have noticed, it's been a while since I've posted anything. This is due in part to a minor exodus at work, leaving the stragglers (myself) struggling to keep up with the excessive amounts of abandoned responsibilities that would otherwise (and, to be honest, preferrably) go neglected.
Don't Follow Soccer but Want to Impress Your Friends?
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Gym Poet
Rage Against David Zinczenko
I'm sure I'm biased by the sheer amount of spam I receive from Rodale publications daily, but I really have a new agenda: Anti-DZ. If you don’t know who David Zinczenko is, I suppose in the simplest of terms he’s the Editor-in-Chief for Men’s Health and Women’s Health, and the face behind Yahoo Health's "Eat This Not That" blog. Which is to say, he's got his well-manicured fingers all over the controls in the engine room of health-media-industrial complex. I simply think of D.Z. as that humorless manipulative bastard who mainly blogs to promote his crappy books. His articles are about as sociable and funny as those cardboard posters some bums hold up that read: "Not Gonna Lie Need $$$ for Beer."
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Workout
I Stole My Turf Shoes from Hermes
Yesterday my company won its second soccer game this season. Also, I finally got to rock my silver turf shoes, which embrace the turf like lovers reuniting. No slipping, no sliding, no tumbling into the pebbly spray of recycled tires coating the field, which, thankfully, means no turf rash. Awesome.
Workout
Played Soccer Yesterday
Played company soccer yesterday, I'm very excited about the season, and very much in pain right now. I finally bought some turf shoes, which, by the way, are silver and yellow. I'm hoping they'll help prevent me from falling on my ass so much. Speaking of my ass, I did a few slide tackles and I think bruised the hell out of it. Turf is not tush friendly.
Workout
Conventions and Conferences and Catching Up
I've been going non-stop since Thursday... starting with late night karaoke, then going upstate for a poetry convention, then back home Sunday to rest and pack, then to DC for a cancer meeting for work and to hopefully sign some books.
Workout
While Your Were Sleeping
Midnight. You're cuddled up in your covers, sleeping the night away. Me? I'm on the pull up bar as the clock rolls over from 11:59, doing my first one-armed chin-up.
10 minutes done and down, bitches.
999,990 more to go.
Workout
Hmm... Crunchy Gym Time
I've never wonered why 'Crunch' was called 'Crunch' until about 2 seconds ago. This is a complete tangent... but is it based on the exercise? Biting into a stale protein bar? Then why is their logo a fist? Is it the crunch of knocking someone's teeth out? I speak from experience--it's not a very crunchy event.
Workout
You Philly Me, Dog?
I spent the weekend traipsing through Philly on foot for hours on end. Eventually, I reached the Philly Museum steps, of Rocky fame, and rather than bolt up them and dance with my arms in the air, I sat on my ass and ate a Cadbury egg and watched other people bolt up the steps and dance with their arms in the air. It was kinda cute :)
Workout
Got Creamed Last Night
The worst thing about company volley ball is that I can't necessarily pick the time, day, or place we play. Yesterday our game was on the Upper East Side, far, far from Brooklyn, and started at 9:15. With our time slotted for an hour, and then schlepping back into Brooklyn like a no-sleep Beastie Boy, I didn't end up slipping under my covers until sometime after 12:30.
Workout
Keep Your Chin Up
Last time my roommate came back from California, he brought a suitcase of fight, so to speak. MMA gloves, shin pads, helmets, and a few mat rags that lead to a somewhat intoxicated night of punching my cousin in the head as he whined “I don’t have insurance!!!” and the eventual loss of part of one of my fake teeth. (Some were broken in church a few years ago. Don’t ask.)
Workout
Ol' Miss is missing some weight, and a workout
First off, THIS is cool. I'm down for health awareness in government, and Mississippi lawmakers have started working out together, and in the past few months collectively shed 1,300 pounds! Nice.
Workout
Oof
What do you mean 'Oof' is not an exciting title? Girl, watch yoself.
K, what did I do this weekend? I went to Rodeo bar. There was some ass smackery. No joke, zuzupetals's bottom bruised my hand while she laughed maniacally. There were margaritas and workout people and evidently a very hilarious but bloody cab ride to Brooklyn.
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New Muay Thai Class at Crunch Lafayette
I finally went to this class. It's taught Weds, 7:15-8:15 nights, and hasn't been made public yet. I've taken several classes, and worked with this trainer personally... though now I have his name confused, as I think it's Caleb, but his coworkers don't seem to reconize that name.
By which I think she means "a baby-shaped bun in the womb-shaped oven."
Posted in response to: My body is freaking the hell out. Cannon hands!
Holy crap how did I miss this post??? hahaha.
Personally, I'm all about being on team panties (not that I wear them, but I hope you do) because, well, ew, I don't want to have an existential germs-on-the-gym-seat moment when parking it on a weight bench previously occupied by a female.
Then again, VPL is kinda distracting.
But, so is an obvious spandex commando.
Shit, I'm having an existential moment right now.
Posted in response to: In Defense Of Underpants
I once tried to write a bakery sex scene for a movie. Lots of sugar and flour.
Sorry you're lonely. We should have a Skype party.
Posted in response to: Can Women Coach Football?
I think she could do it, albeit while struggling against stereotyping. But, I alos think there's an appropriate grain of incredulity here. I'm not sure what an alternative example would be, where a man leads a team in a female-dominated sport.
CJ: I'm rooting for her too.
msh: HEY HOW'S GERMANY?!?! I think Randolph's convinced enough people to give her a shot, but not overcoming the bias of a team's leader... damn, that's a blow...
sandy: I actually don't know her credentials off hand, but I think she's equipped with football know-how already. But, yeah, blank feminism is sexist in its own right, and a regular source of manly eye-rolling. And you couldn't follow the etymology of 'pederast'? I'm so latin.
Posted in response to: Can Women Coach Football?
I've said it before. Every partner I've had that's been, hm, enthusiastic about yoga and pilates has been absolute rubbish in bed. On top of that, like driving, pretty much everyone thinks they're good in bed. I can see how the body confidence pilates builds informs the perception of one's skills under the sheets. I can also see how that confidence can misinform said perception. But I can also say bodies are only the first part of good sex, flexibility has little to do with respect, curiosity, and finding a sexy way to say, "Hey. I'm bored. Let's bone."
Bring on the indignant yogis!
Posted in response to: The Truth About Sex and Pilates
Seriously! And what's with people wanting to do jobs they're clearly not physically able to do in the first place??
It shouldn't be a sensitive topic. People should be able to take frank advice dammit. "Sorry sir, you can't be a personal trainer, you're 300 lbs overweight." or, "Sorry little girl, you can't march in the marching band, you're legally blind." or "Sorry dude, I'm not into guys."
WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ROSES. Unless you don't have a nose.
Posted in response to: Add This to the Discrimination List...
I resent the idea that skanks have low self esteem. Some of us enthusiastically know exactly what we're doing >:D
Posted in response to: Early Bloomers Are Skanks
I'm just as baffled as you all are, but I thought I'd share.
Also, is anyone else bothered by the blatant racial dichotemy? Black and white girls? How are those defined? What about other minorities? How about geographical location? What about family income? Hmph.
Posted in response to: Early Bloomers Are Skanks
Wow, judgment, disgust, AND sexism. Charming.
Posted in response to: The Better Shape You're In, The More You Sweat
"Maybe I can get one on Craigslist."
hahaha, pure genius. I might write a poem about that. (seriously, though, unstable surfaces build up smaller, often neglected muscles... that's why it's important to employ various approaches to the pushup or any other exercise you want to master.)
Posted in response to: 100 Push-ups by September 16th: And the number of push-ups I can do is...
Right. But, um, who's putting a ring on my what again?
Posted in response to: A Play In One Act: Mortification In The Weight Room
Beyonce in the weight room? Really? I tried to cleverly link the lovely Finnish Goth Rock band Lordi, but Social Workout went all hari-kiri on me... :(
Posted in response to: A Play In One Act: Mortification In The Weight Room
You lift to Beyonce? wtf. I prefer Finnish Goth Rock band Lordi.
Posted in response to: A Play In One Act: Mortification In The Weight Room
I already logged that one minutes, don't make me log another!
Posted in response to: The Final Sprinters!
Try employing unstable surfaces, like a bosu ball or an earthquake, when doing pushups. You not only need to train your muscles for strength, but also your nervous system for firing off those muscles appropriately... so no need to diss the knee pushup.
Posted in response to: 100 Push-ups by September 16th: And the number of push-ups I can do is...
I am cocking my eyebrow at you.
(1 minute of activity down...)
Posted in response to: The Final Sprinters!
@korn: yes, that indeed is something you should have counted. Myself? I am exceptionally talented and adept at cocking my eyebrow, an effort that engages dozens of muscles. I shall begin tallying my minutes immediately.
@butwhat: guess who's coming to, er, Phi-town? P-town? tonight??? Wanna hang out and watch me get drunk? You can get drunk too, if you like.
Posted in response to: Blessed Be the Fluggers
@mich:
I regularly eschew public transit, and still do skateboard pushups, boxing with light weights, and can still bang out some one armed chin ups. That puts me at, hm, at least 30-45 minutes of "activity" a day that is much to dull to blog about, so I don't. I'm not jealous, I promise I've been living a very fulfilling life without Crunch in it ;)
@Big O:
I've always thought "activity" was a loose definition, but that's probably because you're inifinitely more generous than I will ever be. I suggest the celebration, in light of this stirring debate, actually include a debate, where mloggers and fluggers discuss what was the most rigorous and, er, lest rigorous activity they blogged about. The mlogger who argues they had the most rigorous workout gets a pat on the back. The flugger who argues they had the least rigorous gets a strip of bacon.
Posted in response to: The Final Sprinters!
I think, rather than harp on people trying to work or be active out 2 hours a day, I was pointing out that working out 2-3 hours a day is an average, yo, more or less. That's cuhrazy. And you know it. Don't get your lulus in a twist.
Posted in response to: Blessed Be the Fluggers
Nope. I call BS. 5 hours of it, to be exact.
Posted in response to: The Final Sprinters!
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on 2 days 15 hours ago by Mr. Mohawk