Social Workout

Buns of Steal

Crawling To The Top of Mount Kilimanjaro

I am happy to report that I reached the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro!! 5,900 meters high, bitter cold and no oxygen. It was far and away the hardest thing I've ever done, and I feel amazing.

I'm not gonna attempt to describe the five day hike up to the summit, because everything—the 3 hour stair master exercise of day two, the revenge of the African intestine gods on days one and two, the marriage proposal (my second one thus far!) from our guide— pales in comparison to the bitter, excruciating seven hour midnight journey to Uhuru Peak, the tallest point in Africa and the final destination of my uphill journey. Curiously, the image that truly comes to mind when describing the ascent is of my old tennis coach Nancy, who used to tell me: "I don't care how you get the ball over the net. Shit, get that ball over the net with your p***y if you have to, just get it done."

Buns of Steal

Forever Fit: My Geriatric Birthday Workout

Today's free workout: Bethesda Sport & Health, courtesy of a 3 day pass, inadvertently extended to 4 days by date-confused membership guy. As some of you know, yesterday, "24-year-old law student" officially became 25. Man. That sounds old. I'm glad I began my wacky gymhopping pursuit when I was only 24, because clearly such silliness would never be tolerated at my now mature age.

My birthday workout turned out pretty hilariously apropos. The fam was coming over later, and I knew I'd be in the kitchen helping my mom prep all day, so this would have to be a morning gymhop. I got up at 7:30 a.m. and groggily decided on a weights class. Great. Safe... Geriatric.

Buns of Steal

Personal Trainers Who Don't Walk the Walk

Why do you go to the gym? If you're me, the answer is to get into better shape, shed pounds and improve movement and coordination. Why do you hire a personal trainer? Again, if you're me, because you hope that a trained professional will help you achieve these results. So what happens when your personal trainer is chubby, lazy, and has bad form? Let me tell you the tale of my morning bootcamp at Sports Club LA. 

Buns of Steal

Scrutinizing My First Week Of Online Fitness Coaching

First week down with my new fitness coach, whom I've tasked with getting my butt into shape — quickly — for my upcoming Kili climb. And, I'm happy to say, I'm seeing results already! But are they sustainable, and will they last? Lets break it down:

Buns of Steal

LA Boxing's 1,000 Calorie Lie

Today's free workout: LA Boxing in Georgetown courtesy of a "one free workout" pass. LA Boxing is a great chain. My best friend, A, works out there, and I've tried the Rockville and VA locations before. The premise is that you make hardcore competitive boxing a little more accessible to the masses. But the gym also has the following advertising slogan: "Burn 800-1,000 calories in a single hour workout!" I call bullshit. 1,000 calories is a hell of a lot. I can't think of a single thing that I can do for an hour, that would make me burn that many calories without going into a coma. So I decided to strap on my heart rate monitor watch and give it the truth test.

Buns of Steal

Are Fitness Coaches Actually Worth It?

Fitness coaches. These mysterious creatures come in all shapes, sizes and price ranges. As some sort of a hybrid between a life coach and a nutritionist, they basically function for the sole purpose of getting your ass in gear and making sure that come Friday, you're actually following through on doing all those wonderful, healthy goals you set out for yourself on Monday. I've been skeptical about these people for a while. But two days ago, I took the plunge.

Buns of Steal

Why Gymhopping Kills Your Game

My quest to get through a full year without ever paying for the gym has led to some great (and occasionally hilarious) game-producing encounters. I have met people while on the subway to and from the gym, while at Starbucks planning my next gymhop, and even at bars where trainers have overheard me talking about the blog. But that's all incidental. You'd think the real paydirt would be at all the different gyms themselves: lots of gyms, lots of guys, lots of game. Nope. Let me explain, and dramatize.

Buns of Steal

The Always Awkward Co-Worker Workout

Today's free workout: The outdoor ropes/confidence course at George Mason University, paid for by my law firm. A partner recently told me, "We try to do a good mix of alcohol and non-alcohol-related events." This was one of the latter, and I must say, I now understand why we are typically plied with alcohol at most firm social events. Because some social events (like sweaty mid-summer workouts) are best kept outside the workplace. And because when your co-workers and superiors — the people who redline your memos, who see you suited up in meetings — see you in sweaty shorts hiked up awkwardly by a harness, dangling helplessly atop a ropes course, it's... just... awkward.

Here's the premise:

Buns of Steal

Wherein I Punch A Guy In The Face

Today's free workout: The Dupont Circle YMCA, courtesy of a free week pass. Okay, so the last time I've punched a guy in the face was in kindergarten, where I deliberately slugged Fat Yuri in the nose and gave him a nosebleed (to be fair, this was after he used me as his personal punching bag for several months). I also once accidentally slapped a guy in the face while we were goofing off, and I felt terrible afterwards. But this was different: I was in the "boxing ring" (i.e. the center of a big YMCA room) and the goal was to tap Greg on the shoulder with my fist, as he attempted to duck and weave out of the way. He would do the same to me, and whoever got tapped would have to do a pushup. Naturally, things didn't go as planned.

Buns of Steal

Rasta Yoga

The gym: YMCA
Location: Dupont Circle
Pass: One Free Week

Oddly enough, I had never actually been to the YMCA. So, when I figured out there was one exactly equidistant from my job and my apartment, I knew it was destiny. I printed out the free pass and headed over, set on taking a Pilates class of some sort. Well, suffice to say that while the actual YMCA building is pretty kick-ass, organization is not the facility's greatest strength. Contrary to the printed schedule, (and contrary to the completely different one offered online), there was no Pilates class that day. Instead, there was yoga. Rasta yoga.