Social Workout

Presidential Fitness

The President's Challenge Arrives In My Inbox, And Is Sadly, Kinda Lame

President's Gym Mat

A few months ago, I enthusiastically signed up for the President's Physical Fitness Challenge, and despite Glenn Beck's response claim that the government was only using fitness tracking to monitor my brain activity, I continued to feel unbridled enthusiasm for the administration's efforts to get me and my fellow Americans moving. Until, that is, I got the "Fitness is Fun" newsletter in my inbox today. It was from "President's Challenge," and it's kicky opening line: "You have received the September 2010 issue of Fitness is Fun, the official e-mail distribution of the President's Challenge." Which reminds me of the way my mom used to always start her text messages "This is MOM" until she figured out 1) I knew it was her; 2) caps were also unnecessary.

Next cringey-moment: The onset of acronym fever. Just as soon as they finish telling me I've received their newsletter, they tell me it's actually PCFSN NEWS (which apparently stands for President's Council on Fitness, Sports and Nutrition) and then they tell me they're kicking off the "Million PALA Challenge." Apparently, PALA stands for Presidential Active Lifestyle Award. And it keeps going from there.

And then they tell me September is "STEPtember." And just when my cringing embarrassment at the term STEPtember is starting to subside, they try to sell me a "President's Challenge Gym Mat," which despite the presidential seal looks like something out of the Eastern Bloc, or at least the 70s (by which I mean either the decade in history or the decade of life, because I don't know anyone under 70 who owns a mat like this).

And now, my "Fitness is Fun" newsletter perusal complete, I'm afraid the Presidential Fitness Challenge might be kind of lame. In fact, I'm so deflated by the sad newsletter right now that I almost think all fitness is lame. I think I need a Punk Rope intervention.