Social Workout

The Shock Absorber: von Hottie's girls would salute it but they can't move, which is a good thing

It's like watching the Terminator run

I first read about the Shock Absorber here on Social Workout. Although I was entranced by the very enjoyable Bounce-o-meter, and like to use that part of the site for hypnotic meditation purposes, I wasn't sure if I would like the bra in real life. I tried a couple of different styles of the Shock Aborber at Paragon Sports in Union Square. I figured the bra must really hold the girls in there because I couldn't even get the damn thing on! I was my own version of the Bounce-o-meter trying to squish and squirm into it. I ended up buying the D+ Max Sports Bra, which offers level 4 support, because I could wriggle into it but once the back clasp was closed, my girls were in full red-alert lockdown.

I kind of forgot that I owned this level of high-security bra until tonight. I wore it on the elliptical and jogging on the treadmill. Usually my girls' range of motion goes from a pleasantly entertaining lady wiggle jiggle to something that could be mistaken for a 3 point shot. Not tonight! Seriously. No bounce. Maybe a slight twitch in my décolletage, but no bounce! My girls have never been so unflirtatious in their entire existence. I was positvely aerodynamic!

You can get the Shock Absorber on Amazon, but I recommend going to an actual store to try it on. Like I said, the only drawback is finding a Shock Absorber you can actually get on. But, if your girls are on the more demure side (a.k.a. not a D cup), you might not have the same issue with making the mountains come to Mohammed, as it were.